Collective Care – Reflections on Safety and Facilitation

I’m sitting in a softly lit co-working space in Manchester. One person is on a call talking with a tender clarity and the other having a coffee while writing in a note book. This is an environment I know well. I know the staff by name, I’m familiar with the exits, if I was physically uncomfortable I know what’s available to me to make myself more comfortable.

These are all factors that support my feeling more safe in my body and environment; there’s no guarantee of others feeling safe in the same circumstance. In this short blog, I reflect on safety in facilitation; something many, if not all, organisers will have to consider at some point. I also provide some tips and practices that have been supportive to me and groups towards creating safer environments that support more courageous and difficult conversations.

An expectation knowingly or unknowingly often put on organisers, is that when we facilitate challenging conversations it’s our sole responsibility to make each participant feel safe and that this is within our power.

A facilitator can’t make someone feel safe. By this, I mean they can’t always predict how someone will respond to any given scenario.  They can’t know everybody’s needs around what makes them feel safe and often when facilitating difficult conversations, feeling safe isn’t the goal. However, it’s almost always a prerequisite to having successful challenging and courageous sessions.

I had a quick Google and it defines safe as ‘protected from or not exposed to danger or risk; not likely to be harmed or lost’ and defines safety as ‘the condition of being protected from or unlikely to cause danger, risk, or injury’.

With these broadly understood definitions we hit our first complicating factors; what someone considers dangerous, a risk or harmful, changes from person to person. If these are broadly the definitions people (and your prospective participants*) are thinking when entering a discussion then it’s a tall order for any facilitator to create a safe space or conversation. I'd advise not promising this at all. I'd argue that the role of a facilitator isn’t to make people feel safe, but to co-create a container/event/space with the participants that supports participants to be more courageous.

Instead of promising safety, a facilitator can encourage clear communication, transparency and personal ownership. These are all methods of collective care – by collective care, in this context, I mean practice that will support everyone’s involvement in cultivating participation, engagement and care for everyone in the group.

By personal ownership I mean continuously highlighting to the participants where they’re empowered to act in a way that supports them feeling safer; participants often disown their own power and agency and put it onto the facilitator. It's important the facilitator gives this back to the collective as much as possible.

Before going onto the tips and practices (many of which we use at Act Build Change) I want to emphasise that people feeling safe doesn’t mean strong emotions aren’t welcome. I actually mean the opposite; when people feel safer in a group they are more courageous, honest and are more likely to bring their authentic perspectives and feelings.

Some tips and practices

• Explain your approach to facilitation and what they can expect from you at the beginning, but also what you expect from the group. This can be done collaboratively through a group agreement, which is a conversation usually resulting in a list of agreed ways the group will be in relationship with each other for the duration of the session(s). This is also a place you could discuss many of the other tips listed here.
• Get to know the needs of your group. Though you can’t make someone feel safe you can make the environment more comfortable. You can do this through one-to-ones ahead of the conversation where you might explore how the person relates to the content of the upcoming session and enquire about access needs. As mentioned everyone is different and so understanding a bit more about each participant ahead of time could inform how you go on to hold the meeting.
• Subgrouping. When someone is expressing a strong emotion you can ask the group who else is feeling similar. If someone is also sharing that experience – call upon them to share or acknowledge others are feeling the same way. This resonance often feels supportive and encourages collective care.
• Check ins/check outs. Giving each participant a moment to share at the start and end of the session(s). You can use this tool for many reasons; bringing greater awareness to how people are feeling at the start of a conversation or getting participants used to using their voice in the space. The important thing to remember is to be clear on the purpose of the check in and the time boundary.
• Humanise yourself. Participants will often position the facilitator as the care taker and themselves as the people to be looked after. You can humanise yourself by naming the feelings and emotions that are coming up for you in service of equalising power between you and the participants.
• Modelling. Though I'm sure you’re easy on the eyes, by this I don't mean strutting down a cat-walk. In this context, I mean as the facilitator you have a strong influence on setting the tone and culture of the group so it becomes important for you, for example to model the group agreement e.g. honouring time boundaries, encouraging participants to answer each other's questions, making full use of the breaks and venue spaces.
• Give a tour of the venue. When people know the space they’re in they can feel more at ease. Particularly when there’s an awareness of where the exits are, toilets, where refreshments are and where they can find a quieter space.
• Be clear with what support is available to the participants. For example, you might have someone who is in charge of logistics who they will go to to find out about lunch plans, but also someone for them to go to if they need emotional support.
• Remind the group to look after their own needs. For example, if they need to step out for any reason they are able to do that and you can discuss how this would be handled e.g. letting a team member or another participant know where they’re going and how long for.
• Put in more breaks than you think. Breaks can be a great way to decompress from intense conversation. It also provides a moment for individuals to check in with themselves to see what they might need e.g. fresh air or a glass of water.

Facilitating isn’t easy! Be kind to yourself. In the same way you don’t want the participants to expect the world from you, you also need to check what pressure you’re putting on yourself. Thanks for reading! This is such a huge topic and something that can’t be entirely captured in a blog. I’d love to hear what you thought of it. Drop me an email on kennedy@actbuildchange.com. 

*There will be additional considerations for organisers working with children and adults at risk that this blog does not cover.